JOURNAL: A Proper Cheese Plate

Cheese plates, like the one I am eating now, are simple elegant and delicious, but there is a formula for maximum enjoyment. Here’s my first draft of the perfect cheese plate.

CHEESE
Texture 1 soft 1 semi-soft 1 hard
Flavor 1 strong 1 medium 1 mild
Source 2 cows 1 sheep or goat
STARCH 1 white bread 1 dark bread 1 cracker or other
FRUIT 1 stone fruit 1 berry 1 other
1 fresh 1 dry 1 processed
PROTEIN 1 hard, salted meat 1 nut
ADDITIONAL ITEMS honey, balsamic reduction, herb butter, maple butter, olives, pickled vegetables, etc.

As an afterthought, I dug up some articles on making a cheese plate:

Wikihow says have a theme [disagree], go with odd numbers [agree], Arrange your cheeses from mildest to strongest [lame], Add accompaniments [duh], and Pick a drink to go with it [to which I must ask, “only one?”]

Chow says diversify by regional origin as well as texture and source [good point, but not as crucial unless you are trying to impress someone, and it won’t work], choose 4 cheeses including a semi-firm [I still like odd numbers and am fine with a semi-firm or semi-soft], plate according to strength of flavor [still lame, and I’m not going to arrange my cheese in a straight line regardless].

Artisinalcheese.com is broad but boring and commercial.

Food Network divides cheeses by production style (fresh, washed-rind, bloomy, pressed, and blue) which I found thought provoking.

3 thoughts on “JOURNAL: A Proper Cheese Plate

  1. I just had a cheese plate at The Wine Bar (yes that’s what it’s called) and it had fig jam (or maybe jelly… what’s the difference?) that was awesome. Really, really good pairing.

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