First Intercontinental Church of Nermo: As a minister ordained over the Internet, I figure I should be able to exploit, er… rather utilize, all of the rights and privileges due me as a man of the virtual cloth.

Long out of fashion, perhaps I can bring back the practice of buying indulgences. It will be the first virtual spiritual commodity. You send me your money and I’ll guarantee you admission to Heaven. Of course I’d offer a full money back guarantee. If for some reason, you find yourself in a less desirable post-mortem location, I will issue a full refund.