Nermo

“I’d be happy to; just send me an email to remind me.”

That sentence has probably saved me 100 hours over the past 2 years.  It is my standard response every time anyone (other than my boss or my mother) asks me to do something for them.

Roughly half the time, they never follow up, and I am off the hook without lifting a finger and I still garner the goodwill and social capital from being the guy who is always willing to lend a hand.

The rest of the time, I have a bright, shiny reminder in my inbox, where it stays until I have followed up, so I never have to worry about forgetting to do whatever was asked of me.

For some reason, when I suggest this strategy to students and clients, they seem shocked and astounded by the possibilities, but it seems pretty straight-forward to me.

            

This is the oddest food trend in a while. Celebrities endorsing food is nothing new, but there is a recent rash of celebrity-branded jerky.

I first stumbled into this last winter while chatting with Ethan Wayne, son of the late, great John Wayne about how Wayne Enterprises had been licensing his father’s name for a long time, but they had never marketed their own products, so they founded the John Wayne Stock and Supply Company, launching with a line of beef jerky, which reminded them of car trips with dad from their childhood.

It’s no surprise that Jeff Foxworthy sells three types of beef and one ham jerky, and Chubby Checker has been hawking his jerky for a while, but the latest jerky star caught me off guard.

Liz Hurley just released her own “guilt-free” (vegans may disagree) beef jerky.  It’s not often you’re met by nude and bikini-clad pictures of a beef jerky company owner on the website.  Let’s all be thankful the Waynes didn’t try this approach.

            

A good friend mentioned that FoodBuzz.com is having their first annual convention for food bloggers here in San Francisco, so I jumped on the boat last minute.

Last minute, as in a flying leap off pier 39, hurtling over sea lions and sidestepping tourists OJ-style before hurling myself over the open water as the ferry leaves the shore.  It was a ninja-move of registration attempts.

Alright, it may have been last minute, but it was surprisingly simple to register a profile, start posting and networking and to get Featured Publisher status, which you might have noticed in the left column of the site lately.  I’m really looking forward to the “festival” which starts with a cocktail hour sponsored by Skyy Spirits (Hi, Caitlin!) at Hotel Vitale (Hi, Krysta!).  I’ve stayed in that gorgeous 8th floor suite before and the views are killer at happy hour.  After that we’re having dinner at the Ferry Building CUESA Kitchen.

Saturday is packed with seminars, tastings, meals and an award ceremony.  Sunday is a farewell brunch.  I’m most psyched about the networking opportunities.  There are thousands of great food bloggers out there, but it’s pretty rare to get hundreds of them together in one room.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

            

Inspired by the Carnivorous Cocktails seminar at Tales, I started Sunday brunch with the BLTini, a sandwich in a glass.

I like my BLTs on potato bread, so I opted for vodka over gin, squeezed the bejeezus out of a gorgeous heirloom tomato, then decided that lettuce was lame and so opted for basil as an aromatic garnish.

Tip: bacon is best for this purpose when crispy, flat and most of the fat has been rendered off, so I devised this little trick.  Lay raw bacon in a hot pan and then put a Pyrex baking dish on top, pressing the bacon flat while it cooks. Creates perfect cocktail bacon.

BLTini

• 2 ounces vodka (plain or citrus)
• 2 ounces tomato water (see note)
• 1 dash dry vermouth
• 1 piece crispy bacon
• 1 basil leaf

Shake vodka, tomato water and vermouth with ice to chill and strain into a chilled martini glass.  Stir with bacon, and literally clap once with the basil leaf on your palm to release the aromatic oils before floating it in the glass.

Note: to make tomato water I diced the tomato, wrapped it in cheese cloth and squeezed out as much liquid as I could.  When my hand got tired, I put the whole pulpy package into a citrus squeezer, extracted the rest and filtered the tomato water through a fine mesh strainer.  A medium-large heirloom yields about 2 ounces of juice, less than you will get with a roma of comparable size.

            

It’s time to buy a better ice cream maker.

Here are the boozy flavors I am currently developing:

Cherry Chocolate Port: vanilla base with dried bing cherries reconstituted in port and chocolate chunks
Bloody Mary: tomato ice cream spiked with vodka and hot sauce
Driver: orange and vodka (or soju) sherbet
Mimosa: granita of orange juice and prosecco
Bicyclist: lemon beer gelato (see: Radler)
Breakfast: bourbon, maple, bacon and waffle cone bits
Blood and Sand: scotch, Cherry Heering, orange juice and sweet vermouth swirls in vanilla ice cream

Thanks to Bill B. for coming up with the name “Vice Cream” within two seconds of me asking for suggestions.

            

Carl’s Fine Films Unauthorized commercial for Trader Joe’s is a lyrical masterpiece shot on a cellphone.

David Lynch’s daily weather report videos.  I don’t care what the weather is like in LA.  I live in NorCal.  I just find him entrancing.

Leslie Miles has the world’s longest blog title, but she can count me as one of the ten.  Check out “The aim is not to be everyone’s tenth favorite blog, but rather ten people’s favorite blog” for a thematic photo montage of some of the web’s most striking images.  My faves so far were She’s a Lady and Born With It.

Glennz makes some of the wittiest, most visually striking t-shirt designs. Period.

World Builder is a fun spin on the use of CGI and Visual Effects from Bruce Branit.

            

Sorry folks, but upgrading to WordPress 2.7 was more involved than I expected, and I have work to do, so it will be a little while before I restore my photos and layout.  Happy March.

UPDATE (3/6):  Images are back up, and I’ll get to the visual elements of the theme eventually.

            

I made a bunch of inkblots while creating the Rorschach Inkblot Valentine,

so I’m posting them, since I found the process relaxing and the product amusing.

Tell me what you see, and just like when administered by a psychiatrist, if you get the right answer, you’ll win a prize!

a.) b.)

c.) d.)

e.) f.)

            

I’ve told a bunch of people to save the date, but never got around to sending the invitations.

It’s the year of the Ox, so of course there needs to be an ox.  The rest of it is pretty random.

            

I’m taking TSB to Vermont for Christmas, and my mother suggested I renew a long lost family tradition by hosting an ornament making party as a scheme to gather my old friends. My mother describes the custom best:

We started in 1974 by inviting all of our friends to make an ornament for our first tree, because we had no decorations and were always looking for a reason to have a party.  They were a hard partying group so we ended up with some very unusual ornaments. We did this for several years, then skipped some, and when the kids started coming, we had a few more.

The invitation was always the same: no cost to get in, but you can’t leave until you make an ornament.  It was an open house so people came and went all afternoon (and some years, all night ) and we always had supplies…….scissors, glue, felt, construction paper, craft sticks, clothes pins and whatever was hanging around.  If someone had their own ideas they would bring the supplies they needed or even bring a completed project if they were more interested in visiting/eating/drinking.  I think Aunt Kim [my mother's sister] is responsible for Dolly [Parton, made from a toilet paper tube, felt and a lot of cotton balls] and Grumps [my grandfather] was totally grossed out every time we put her on the tree (he didn’t think it honored Christmas).

So, when I get back to Burlington, we’re cooking up a feast, stocking the bar, throwing open the doors and making weird Christmas crap out of pipe cleaners.  I’m excited.

I’m going for a high-brow/low-brow for my ornament craft projects. I’ve been wanting to make a tree full of origami brocade (Kusudama) ornaments made from wrapping paper (reuse always trumps recycling), but I am sure I will make something obscene out of popsicle sticks and glitter too.

Here’s an instrructional video if you want to learn.