Nermo

I buy kitchen tools I don’t need, and being a gadget-obsessed guy and culinary daredevil, my urban kitchen is getting crowded. I can’t seem to put myself on a diet, but I’m going to slim down my kitchen.

The plan: I’m emptying all of my cooking tools into a bucket.  Once a tool has been used, it goes into a designated drawer. When a tool from the drawer gets used, it goes into the canister on my counter.

Rules:
1. When cooking, draw first from the canister, then the drawer, and finally the bucket, if no suitable tools are in the drawer.

2. After a month, I can pick ten things in the bucket to stay and the rest go to Salvation Army. Tools in the drawer go back into the bucket, canister tools stay put and the cycle starts again.

3. If the drawer becomes full before the month ends, it triggers the purge that would happen at the end of the month.

4. Knives and appliances are exempt. No way in hell am I getting rid of of my Shuns, Cuisinart, slow cooker or immersion blender.

            

In no way do I endorse the the views expressed in this film.  I just think it’s funny!

[from: Leave It To Beaver]

            

Food2.com just published a review I wrote of the Nirvino Wine Ratings Guide application for the iPhone. For those not in the know, Food2 is the younger, hipper, online branch of the Food Network.

            

Amanda, a dear friend from back home, moved to San Francisco this week and wanted to know where she should go. I started giving her “tourist advice” before I realized that she deserves to be treated like a local, so I am sharing my insight with whomever wants to read it.

This list is of restaurants that are hidden gems, known only by locals, or have fallen out of fashion despite their continuing excellence. It’s a fairly diverse list, both in cuisine and location.

New Eritrea (Eritrean/Ethiopian, Inner Sunset) [review]
Tu Lan (Vietnamese, Civic Center) [review]
New Ganges (Indian/vegetarian, Inner Sunset) [review]
Cassis (French/Italian, Pacific Heights) [review]
White Horse Tavern (pub/steakhouse, Nob Hill) [review]
Mandalay (Burmese, Inner Richmond) [review]
Panta Rei (Italian, North Beach) [review]
Hama Ko (Japanese, Cole Valley) [review]
Memphis Minnie’s (barbecue, Lower Haight) [review]
San Tung (Chinese, Inner Sunset) [review]
Bang San (Thai/Halal, Tenderloin) [review]
Weird Fish (seafood, Mission) [review]

On the hipper (and moderately more expensive) side, I’d recommend eating  at

Nopa (New American, Western Addition) [review]
Gitane (Basque, Nob Hill) [not yet reviewed]
Bar Bambino (Italian Wine Bar, Mission) [review]
Canteen (new American/brunch, Tenderloin) [review]
SPQR (Italian, Pac Heights) [review]
Lime (brunch, Castro) [review]
Zazie (French/brunch, Cole Valley) [review]
Cha-Ya (Japanese/vegan, Mission) [review]

            

I’m planning an epic dinner party that defiles the sacred Italian belief that seafood and cheese should never be married.

I love fish tacos, tuna melts and anchovy pizza, but what are the more upscale options?

So far, I’ve been toying with concepts and recipes for:

• ·Cheddar ale soup with smoked baby octopi
• ·Trout and goat cheese napoleons
• ·Mac and cheese with a puttanesca sauce
• ·Seafood fondue
• ·Peruvian Causa with smoked oysters and gouda

What are your thoughts on mixing the two?  Menu suggestions?

            

Wine was a four-letter word Sunday morning, which I spent at the SFChefs.Food.Wine beer pairing boot camp with Beer Chef Bruce Paton and City Beer Store owner Craig Wathen.  I would have liked a few hard and fast rules, but there doesn’t seem to be a simple formula for matching food with beer.

The gist was that beer can be paired as a contrasting flavor, a complimentary flavor, or as a palate cleanser.  Even the beer chef said he doesn’t actually pair his appetizers with beer, but rather puts out a lot of really great apps knowing that a lighter beer compliments just about anything.  My favorite pairing of the day was Temptation from the Russian River Brewing Company, with a lemony bite that was gangbusters with ginger-scallion shrimp cocktail.

Ultimately, you need to consider all facets of the beer (sweetness, bitterness, additional flavors, alcohol content, carbonation) and of the food (flavor, richness, sweetness, acidity, heat, texture) when pairing.

Here are my beer-pairing guidelines, a combination of personal experience and tips picked up in the seminar:

1. Light to Dark: over the course of a meal, beers should progress from lightest in color and flavor, to darker, heavier, higher in alcohol and more bitter.
2. Match intensity: pair stronger flavored food with stronger flavored beer and subtler food with subtler beer.
3. Red or White? White meats (poultry, fish, pork) match best with sweeter, maltier beers, while red meat pairs best with richer, more fruit-forward ales, and most anything off the grill rocks with a smokey porter or stout, unless it’s spicy, and then a crisp lager will cut the heat.
4. Home brewery advantage: ethnic food often pairs best with its regional beers, brewed to suit the local cuisine.
5. Sweet and Sour: When matching sweet or sour flavors, choose a beer slightly sweeter or sourer than the food.
6. Barley wine goes well with just about any flavorful foods.  Keep a few bottles on hand at all times.
7. At the end: Porter, stout and barley wine pair particularly well with desserts and end of meal cheese courses.
8. Large bottles, small glasses: If you are going to serve multiple courses paired with brews, diners won’t want a full 12-ounces with every course, so put out smaller glasses and pass around a bigger bottle.  Like Belgians, many craft beers are available in 750 ml bottles (just over 25 ounces).  It’s always good to keep a variety of larger bottles on hand.  They are easier to store than six packs and make it possible to have a variety, and thus “the perfect beer” on hand when needed.
9. Not too cold: remove beer from refrigerator 15-30 minutes before serving.  If it’s super cold, you won’t be able to get the full effect, because beer is most flavorful at 40-50 degrees Fahrenheit.

My admin just informed me that Miller Light pairs nicely with everything from cookies to caviar, but if you want a second opinion, download the Brewers Association pairing chart (.pdf) by clicking below.

            

I just found out that it’s National Oyster Day.

Pairing drinks with food may consider the flavors, smells and even textures of a dish, but rarely the motion involved in its consumption.

Pairing shots with oyster shooters is a great way to enhance the sensory experience, and to move the accoutrement off the oyster and into a glass.

An for those of you who don’t like oysters, just remember that taking a shot first makes anything more palatable.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Colorado Rattlesnake (Pepper/Spicy)

• 1 ounce  Tequila
• 3/4 ounces tomato juice
• 1/4- 1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
• course ground black pepper

Aviation (Citrus/Sour)

• 1 ounce gin
• 1/2 ounce fresh lemon juice
• 1 dash maraschino

Last Word (Citrus/Sour)

• 1/2 ounce gin
• 1/2 ounce green Chartreuse
• 1/2 ounce maraschino
• 1/2 ounce lime juice

Bourbon or Mezcal (Smoky)

• 1.5 ounces cold bourbon or mezcal

Dirty Martini (Brine/Salty)

• 1.5 ounces vodka
• 1/2 ounce olive juice

            

As promised, I bought an ice cream maker and started concocting my boozey Vice Cream.  The first batch is fantastic.

Cherry Chocolate Port Ice Cream

1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon corn starch
3 large egg yolks
1 1/2 cups milk, scalded
1 1/2 cups cream, cold
1/2 vanilla bean (about 2 inches), scraped
3/4 cup dried bing cherries, reconstituted in port
3/4 cup bittersweet chocolate chips

Stir together sugar and starch and whisk in egg yolk, then milk.  Over medium heat, stirring constantly, bring to a boil and continue stirring for 2 minutes.  Remove from heat and pour into a chilled bowl, stir in vanilla scrapings, cover and chill.  Once cold, whisk in cream and put in ice cream maker (mine took 20 minutes, but follow the instructions on your own), and then stir in cherries and chocolate before covering and putting in the freezer to harden.

Notes:  scalding milk is simply bringing it briefly to a boil, which will cause solids to separate from the milk and stick to the pan, so they are left behind when you pour off the milk.  To make the cherries, put a cup of dried bing cherries in a cup of good port and let them sit, covered at room temperature for a few days.

            

Inspired by the Carnivorous Cocktails seminar at Tales, I started Sunday brunch with the BLTini, a sandwich in a glass.

I like my BLTs on potato bread, so I opted for vodka over gin, squeezed the bejeezus out of a gorgeous heirloom tomato, then decided that lettuce was lame and so opted for basil as an aromatic garnish.

Tip: bacon is best for this purpose when crispy, flat and most of the fat has been rendered off, so I devised this little trick.  Lay raw bacon in a hot pan and then put a Pyrex baking dish on top, pressing the bacon flat while it cooks. Creates perfect cocktail bacon.

BLTini

• 2 ounces vodka (plain or citrus)
• 2 ounces tomato water (see note)
• 1 dash dry vermouth
• 1 piece crispy bacon
• 1 basil leaf

Shake vodka, tomato water and vermouth with ice to chill and strain into a chilled martini glass.  Stir with bacon, and literally clap once with the basil leaf on your palm to release the aromatic oils before floating it in the glass.

Note: to make tomato water I diced the tomato, wrapped it in cheese cloth and squeezed out as much liquid as I could.  When my hand got tired, I put the whole pulpy package into a citrus squeezer, extracted the rest and filtered the tomato water through a fine mesh strainer.  A medium-large heirloom yields about 2 ounces of juice, less than you will get with a roma of comparable size.

            

Because I couldn’t just spend the weekend celebrating the 4th and packing for Tales, I:

1. made a batch of hot sauce from farm-fresh chilies
2. created a tincture of shiso
3. made a gallon of traditional umeshu
4. improvised almost a gallon of apricot/pluot “umeshu”
5. infused a bottle of Hendrick’s gin with cucumber and persimmon
6. devised the Tomcat Collins with the aforementioned gin (recipe posted soon)
7. hosted the “Squash Blossom” dinner party with the lovely TSB (we may not be together any more, but we still throw one hell of a dinner party), where I served the aforementioned cocktail the following hors d’oeuvres
8. deep-fried two kinds of cheese-stuffed squash blossoms (chevre and mascarpone) with 4 dipping sauces (southwestern salsa, spicy tomoato, lemony aioli and a green onion sour cream).