Nermo

So, in avoiding other obligations, I decided to find more subtle ways to post a barcode.  The newly-ubiquitous QR codes are hard to miss, being all blocky and checkerboard-like, but traditional bar codes are easier to disguise.  I’ve got a fistful of ideas for how to do this, but here are the first three. After this, I am thinking of a ray gun blast, integrating it into a wood grain pattern, water from a shower head, and an urban skyline.

You can click on any of the above to get a larger image and which can be scanned with any barcode scanner app.

Have I ever mentioned that I’ve mapped out the concept for my first cocktail bar?  As incredibly pretentious as it sounds, the theme is Freudian, fin-de-siecle Vienna, but way more fun and playful than that makes it seem.

I won’t get into it more than that, because I have surely horrified you, but one of my favorite bar snacks from when I lived in Austria, which will certainly be on the menu, is Liptauer, a zesty cheese spread that’s easy to make in advance, and can be served simply.

Liptauer

• 16 ounces cream cheese
• 2 cups cottage cheese
• 4 tablespoons capers
• 8 gherkins, chopped
• 1 tablespoon + 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• Pinch of salt
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 teaspoons caraway seeds
• 2 teaspoons course-ground mustard
• 2 tablespoons canola oil

1. In a food processor, whip the cream cheese and cottage cheese until very smooth.
2. Add everything but the oil and last 1/2 teaspoon paprika, and blend to incorporate.
3. Transfer the spread to a quart-size bowl or a half-dozen ramekins.
4. Drizzle the oil over the top and slap some plastic wrap over it and refrigerate at least 2 hours.
5. Serve cold with crisp bread or crackers and more gherkins. Some people like a little red onion as well.

I’ve been sick, so I’ve been eating a lot of soup.  Now that I have drained every Thai and Vietnamese restaurant in the neighborhood, it’s time to make my own.  I want something creamy and coating with strong flavor, since I can barely taste anything. This recipe requires no skill and is simple, but even more so if you have a mandolin slicer and an immersion blender.

• 1/2 stick unsalted butter, plus more for other nefarious purposes
• 3 medium size leeks, cleaned and dark green ends removed but reserved
• 1 quart broth or stock (chicken, beef, veg, whatever – you can even use bullion)
• 3 medium-large Yukon gold potatoes
• 1 cup milk
• 1 cup cream
• 1 cup buttermilk
• salt and pepper

1. In a medium-size stock pot, melt butter over medium low-heat, add the leeks and cook uncovered for 30 minutes, until soft, stirring occasionally.
2. While the leeks are cooking, peel and slice the potatoes as thin as possible. This is where the mandolin comes into play, because if you can cut paper thin, the next step can take 20 minutes instead of 40.
3. Add the broth and potatoes, and let simmer, covered, until potatoes start to break down, stirring occasionally. Don’t be startled; the broth becomes a thick, starchy goo as soon as it reaches a boil.
4. Turn off the heat and blend until smooth, if need be, in a traditional blender in batches.
5. Stir in all the dairy products, season to taste and bring slowly back up to temperature if need be. Finish with a knob of butter stirred in at the end.
6. For garnish, lemon zest, and/or take the leftover green parts, slice thinly across the grain and saute over high heat in butter until crispy.