Nermo

Motivated by an article in New York Magazine about a new Asian barbecue spot in the West Village, I’ve started planning an Asian BBQ menu of my own for a party in the not too distant future.

A couple familiar items from the Chinese New Year Dinner Party will necessarily be present. Here’s what I am thinking so far:

• OMG Ribs
• Whole tea-smoked chicken or game hen stuffed with rice, herbs and dried fruit
• Vietnamese-style BBQ duck soup dumplings (maybe soup isn’t right for the occasion. I wonder if I can steam then grill the dumplings)
• BBQ pork steamed buns
• Asian variations on macaroni salad and potato salad
• Ceviche (I know it isn’t really Asian or BBQ, but I think it would be a great accompaniment. I can always dress the fish sashimi-style in yuzu juice, soy sauce, cilantro and scallion)
• Japanese-style pickled veggies
• Haupia with mango pearls and grilled lime wedges
• The Hiro-Jito
• Thai basil or shiso lemonade (recipe below)

Thai Basil or Shiso Lemonade

1 lemon, thinly sliced
1 bunch Thai basil (about ¾ cup) or Shiso (Japanese mint) leaves
1 ½ cups sugar
7 cups water
2 cups lemon juice (about a dozen lemons worth)

1. Muddle lemon slices, leaves and sugar thoroughly in bottom of pitcher.
2. Add water and lemon juice.
3. Stir until sugar has fully dissolved and chill.

            

As is the trend among sites with short, easy to remember, yet senseless names, maybe I should make Nermo a “deal of the day” site where every 24 hours I put up a new product for sale. This being my website, and deserving of my personal twist, perhaps I will post a really bizarre and ridiculous product daily, like tinfoil sold as mind-ray blocking hat liners or a yo-yo labeled “perpetual motion device.”

Traditional Examples:
Shnoop
Woot
Fruper
Tanga
Yugster
Stootsi
Lootpig
Pozy

            

Nearly a year after the last Iron Chef challenge, where I lost Battle Mango, I have redeemed myself in Battle Pillsbury Crescent Roll Dough.

My Spanakopita Pockets won best overall dish (pre-cooked filling and an egg wash were key) and combined with my fruit tarts, I was crowned Iron Chef. The tarts were made by baking squares of dough in muffin tins and filling them with vanilla ice cream, raspberry peach compote and topping them off with Kumquat-cello whipped cream.

TSB made some tasty samosas and apple pie pockets and tonight I finished off her samosas by adding a couple eggs to the last two cups of spiced potato filling and frying it like a pancake. I topped it with a little spicy ketchup (1 part sriracha to 5 parts ketchup) and called it dinner.

TSB just started her own food blog. Check it out, but try not to like it better than mine. She’s a lot cuter, both in person and in her writing, so I may regret sending you to her. Who am I kidding, she’s the only one who reads this. Hi, Schatz!

            

First Intercontinental Church of Nermo: As a minister ordained over the Internet, I figure I should be able to exploit, er… rather utilize, all of the rights and privileges due me as a man of the virtual cloth.

Long out of fashion, perhaps I can bring back the practice of buying indulgences. It will be the first virtual spiritual commodity. You send me your money and I’ll guarantee you admission to Heaven. Of course I’d offer a full money back guarantee. If for some reason, you find yourself in a less desirable post-mortem location, I will issue a full refund.

            

On my quest to figure out what the heck this site is going to be, I was thinking that I need to develop some sort of branding/identity concept for the site, which led to the idea of Nermo as a mascot.

I’m picturing some sort of gruesome yet adorable chimera like a panda with a crab claw for an arm, perhaps constructed of mismatched Beanie Baby parts.

            

A very good question, to which there is not yet an answer.

I bought the site on a whim because I like the name, and now I need to figure out what to make of it.

I expect it to end up as an art piece, unless I come up with something worth selling. I just don’t know if it should be a one-shot, permanent installation, an evolving spectacle, new work replacing old without any connection to its predecessors, or a simple portfolio site.

I’ll post ideas as I come up with them and we’ll see what takes off.